


The Diary of a Pharaoh

by MasterExpedition



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6302323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterExpedition/pseuds/MasterExpedition
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the historical figures at the museum had taught Kahmunrah how to read and write. Now he must maintain a diary at the request of one his friends. This is an insight to his nights while at the museum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kahmunrah's First Entry

**Author's Note:**

> This is intended as a diary of the character Kahmunrah. It is seen through his eyes.

Entry 1

     Ugh. Why did Ivan had to suggest to me writing a 'diary'? When I asked, his only response was "to help you with writing, of course!" I am now regretting having learn the process of writing, for if I have known it would lead to writing a daily entry in this book I would have refused to learn to begin with. Oh, well. At least he had promised not to tell anyone about this little project for I would strangle him if he even as to hint to this to anyone outside our group. I will not tolerate the embarrassment.

     Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, my nightly entry. Tonight I had taken a lovely stroll through a few exhibits, my personal favorite exhibit belongs to yours truly. None of the others could match to the beauty of mine, no matter how hard they try. Naturally mine is the best and always will be for I am a pharaoh and I get what I want when I want it and I demand my exhibit to be the best of the best.

     Shortly after my stroll I, unfortunately, had encounter that annoying fool of a knight Lancelot. He has this thing about wanting to come 'talk' with me no matter how many times I tell him to leave me be. I don't know how anyone could tolerate such an idiot like him. I had hoped to avoid him completely tonight, but was very unlucky, sadly. My lovely night now ruin! Well, the fool was wondering if I would like to play a game of ping pong with him, which I responded with a firm no. Still he persisted until I finally said yes. For a moment I thought he was about to leap into my arms and hug me when I agreed to his stupid request, but fortunately he didn't.

     I followed him into an area of the museum where we keep such games and began to play a game of ping pong, to the surprise of most of the people around in the room at the time. The knight was very eager to play. I couldn't stand seeing him so full of energy, laughing and smiling, so I thought it would be appropriate to beat him at the game, or if I don't win (mind you I always win) I will aim the ping pong ball towards his face instead. Either way I'll teach him for challenging me.

     The game started out poorly for me and that pathetic fool laughed. Before I knew it I hit the little ball and it immediately slammed into his face, catching him off guard. After that I had turned the game around and won. He challenged me to another game and I beat him at that one as well. A few more challenges and a few more wins for me before he finally decided to take a break. Despite my wins and slamming the ball directly towards his face, the knight was still in his normal happy state, which irritated me terribly. Why couldn't he just stop being happy for once? Why must he make me suffer so?

     After that embarrassment in front of several others, I returned to my exhibit where I am residing at the moment to write this entry. I must now call it a night for I spent most of my short night between strolling through the exhibits, playing games with an annoying knight, and writing this entry. Maybe, if Ivan doesn't check on my progress, I could skip writing an entry tomorrow night. I have better things to do than writing in this book such as avoiding the knight.

     Goodnight, your Evil Pharaoh.


	2. The Second Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kahmunrah continues to write in his diary despite not really wanting to, all because his friend insisted.

Entry 2

     I was planning on skipping tonight's entry, but unfortunately Ivan decided to check on my progress and insisted on me doing another entry. Why on Earth should I continue writing in this book if I have no interesting stories to put in it? Does he want me to write a novel about how boring it is being stuck here and not being allowed to rule over the entire museum? That's what he's going to get, no matter if he wanted it or not. Preferably I would like to have on record my favorite, and sometimes hilarious, moments, mind you, rather than just my daily nights. More preferably if someone else writes it down for me, but then again they might not be able to get it just right. In that case it would be best if I record it. Now that I have a little bit of my rant out of the way, back to my nightly entries, shall we?

     I will first begin with a bit of news I heard. Our night guard had gathered several of us together to inform us that there is a possibility they (the owners of the museum) may be bringing in another historical figure we had not had already. They went on to tell us that it may be one of three historical figures and gave us a list. The candidates were, if I recall correctly, a man name Edgar Allan Poe (whoever he is), William Shakespeare (I recall Ivan mentioning his name, but to be honest I don't have a clue who he is), and Mark Twain. I do hope that whichever one does come to our museum is interesting and not as annoying as a certain knight in shining armor.

     The news earlier tonight is probably the most interesting thing that happened tonight. As for almost the rest of night, I have been desperately trying to avoid the knight Lancelot. Fortunately, I have been successful. It has been somewhat of a struggle, but I have manage to outwit him. However, I have been feeling rather lonely. Yes, I know. I have a habit of avoiding the majority of the people here, but that's because they either annoying or just plain uninteresting. Capone said there was like a term for it or something. Anti-social I think. I not entirely against socializing with others, so I don't think "anti-social" applies to me. A better word would be "selective-social" since I am very selective as to who I socialize with.

     Oh, and before I forget, there is something else that had happened tonight. The cowboy and Roman miniatures were up to their normal mischief and managed to successfully prank that foolish knight! Oh my, that was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. The knight deserved it. Though I am not very fond of those miniatures (the Roman is the more heroic, but calm one of the two; and his boyfriend is funny only when he's mad), I got to give them credit for this small, but surprisingly big, prank of theirs. Who knew such little things could cause such a stir?

     Well, since it's only an hour or two before sunrise I must call it a night before I freeze in my current position. Oh, what a sight that would be for anyone who wanders into my exhibit when the museum opens. I half-tempted to remain here, like I am, if it means scaring a few visitors.

     Goodnight,  
          Your Evil Pharaoh


	3. Third Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kahmunrah is still a bit curious as to who will be the next historical figure to show up at the museum. He has decided which one he is wanted.

Entry 3

     After two entries in this book, I am starting to somewhat like writing. Oh, and before I forget, while I am still on the topic of writing in this book, Ivan finally decided to give me a break in how many entries I have to write. It took a bit of convincing to do, but I managed. Apparently he had originally thought of having me write at least seven entries or more. Mind you, regardless if he gave me a break or not I wouldn't write seven entries period, no matter how much he insisted. However, he did bring it down to five entries rather than seven like he originally intended. Still, it more entries than I really want to write. Now that's out of the way, I should write about my night so I can be through with this entry.

     Since the other night when we were told of the possibility of another historical figure joining our museum sometime in the near future, I am a bit curious about what these people are like. If I recall correctly, there are three candidates and only one of them will come. I thought it was reasonable to learn what I can about these three people before one shows up in hopes to have a hand in deciding which one shall come. Of course the others here in the museum don't exactly know my plan. All they know, as far as I can tell, is that I had shown a little bit of interest in these candidates. However, these foolish people don't know is that I will be the judge of who shall enter.

     I first began to learn a little bit of Edgar Allan Poe. He seems like an interesting fellow, but rather dark from what I can tell. As of right now, I shall keep him in consideration if the other two are boring. I then proceeded to figure out who this Mark Twain is, but I found him to a tad bit on the boring side, or at least his stories. Well, technically I only read part of one and was not amused. After him I finally come to the third and final candidate. William Shakespeare. Since Ivan occasionally mentioned him to me, I thought I should go to him for more information. Turns out, from what Ivan tells me, Shakespeare is an interesting writer. He then introduced me to one of Shakespeare's plays, Macbeth I believe it was, and I loved it. If I get a say in which candidate comes, I am picking Shakespeare.

     After doing a tad bit of research, which is very unlike me but it what was needed to be done to get my way, I finally decided to wandered around the museum. When I met up with Capone, I thought it would be hilarious to quote Shakespearean literature around him, just to see his reaction. At first he was confused as to why I was quoting Macbeth, then he got irritated and apparently found it annoying after me quoting enough times. Seeing how he reacted, from this point on, anytime he gets on my nerves I shall quote from Shakespearean literature to annoy him in return.

     After tonight's adventure, I find myself tired and had to retreat to my exhibit. As tired as I am, I am a bit anxious to see who's are next historical figure. That alone might prevent me from relaxing anytime soon.

     Goodnight,  
          Your Evil Pharaoh


	4. Fourth Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The newcomer has arrived, however, it was not Kahmunrah's pick.

Entry 4

     When I woke tonight, I soon discovered that the new historical figure has arrived. I was furious that one, no one told me how soon they will be here, and two, I didn't get to have a say in the matter. To make matters worse, they selected a historical figure that I didn't want. Instead of choosing William Shakespeare, they brought Mark Twain. How could they do this to me?

     After discovering which historical figure they decided to bring, I had intentions of avoiding him completely. However, after some coaching from my friends I finally interacted with this Mark Twain. He wasn't too terribly bad. Still, I would have liked Shakespeare to be here instead. From the little bit I had seen him interact with others and myself, I don't expect him to be an issue. I might even go as far as to say I prefer the writer over Lancelot. However, the only thing so far that I don't like about him is that he likes hanging around that blonde-headed general, George Custer. He also seemed to have impressed the knight as well, which could easily appear to be either good or bad. The good side of it is that maybe, just maybe, that annoying knight will finally stop pestering me. The bad side is that if I want to interact with this writer I will have to deal with the knight.

     Overall, the night was somewhat interesting despite not getting my way. I do hope that the newcomer will not be an issue.

     Goodnight,  
          Your Evil Pharaoh


	5. The Final Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kahmunrah's fifth and final entry.

Entry 5

     My fifth and final entry. After this entry I am no longer required by Ivan to write anymore unless I feel like it. Though I am relieved to finally reach the end of writing in this book, I find myself beginning to enjoy writing. However, I still have very little interest in writing.

     The writer that came the other night, he's actually quite hilarious. I think I might actually be warming up to him. Perhaps he should join me in one of my many pranks. Besides that, I highly doubt he's going to be an issue. He's funny and hadn't challenged me yet, though he does seem to avoid me at least half of the time. Maybe one of the historical figures here said something bad about me to him. If that is the case, I will find out who.

     Besides that, Ivan, Capone, Napoleon, and I decided to watch a movie. It took us a little while to decide on what movie to watch. Ivan wanted to watch Disney movies, and Napoleon wanted to watch romantic movies. Capone doesn't seem to care about what movie we watch, so long as it's not Disney, though I do think he prefers action movies. We soon agree to watch Ghostbusters.

     Hardly anything interesting occur tonight with the exception of watching a movie and learning that the writer is capable of being funny. Well, I plan to call it a night. I may or may not continue writing entries, but for now I wish to rest.

     Goodnight,  
          Your Evil Pharaoh


End file.
